


Rave

by Rag



Series: raining cats and dogs [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling, Developing Relationship, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, Making Out, Mild Gore, Mutism, Nightmares, Other, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-03 05:02:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14561430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rag/pseuds/Rag
Summary: jade adjusts to earth c, and davepeta is really fucking cute





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> john's a huge dick here

Earth C is neat, and it’s nice to not have the weight of the fate of the universe sitting on your shoulders anymore. You knew your odds of success were pretty abysmal after… after all that stuff happened a few months into the session. You tried to stay hopeful when you could, because time was all funky like that. You knew that someday you would be with your friends, and that would happen before you knew it, and everything would be fine again. And now here you are!

But there were more nights than not when you wondered how many more pointless, painfully lonely days would pass before everything came to its logical null conclusion and just stopped. Your existence would be a brief, stupid flash in the pan in a pointless sea. You couldn’t have life without air.

But it’s fine, somehow!

You’re having trouble keeping up with it all. Everything was stuck in place for so long, and then _BAM!_ and it’s all on triple speed. The battle itself was something to focus on, for the two seconds or so that you had something to focus on. Then it was just people and words and activity and new things, and you’re glad that your aspect gives you an excuse to get away from. Not that you don’t love your friends! You absolutely do. You missed them so much that sometimes you thought you couldn’t stand it anymore. But you hear the flurry of 30 some people chatting to catch up, and two minutes is more than you’ve heard in the last two years combined. You have to go.

You also see him there. You need to talk to him and hug him and make sure that he’s real and not some illusion. But you don’t want to walk up to him and start sobbing like a weirdo. But space doesn’t judge you for crying! Space doesn’t care.

Space somehow has service, too. You’re a little fucking furious about that. Was it the game itself that wouldn’t let you text anyone that whole fucking time? Was it the game’s decision that you couldn’t contact another living person for two fucking years? Was that _important_ for the _outcome_?

Anyways. Your hands shake a little but you type.

GG: john?

GG: this is you, right?

EB: no, this is someone entirely different :p

You cry a little. Just a little.

EB: jade?

GG: sorry i got distracted by something

EB: rude!

GG: can we hang out?

EB: yeah sure! im with dave right now, do you want to come?

You think about it, but no. You’re going to have a hard enough time not breaking down in front of just John. Adding Dave in the mix sets you up for certain failure.

GG: im kind of busy with space stuff, but maybe tomorrow?

EB: yeah sure! that'd be great!

GG: :D

*

It isn’t great, actually.

You meet up with him on a beach in the southern hemisphere of the planet. You requested somewhere quiet so that the two of you would have a chance to catch up. He seemed happy to agree.

You tell yourself that you’re not going to cry. You come to terms with everything. He died, this is a different version of him, he was critical in the success of your session, he’s alive and has been this whole time. Your version died but he’s alive.

Then you see him. And he’s just, he’s right there, he’s alive. It hits you like a fucking ton of bricks because it’s _him_. It’s a different John, but it’s still John, and he’s alive again. You hold them in. You won’t cry, that’s the whole point.

“Hi Jade!”

You can’t stop the waterworks. The tear dam is fucking broken and it’s gushing out.

He takes a few steps back from you. “Woah, what?”

You take a few deep breaths and try to stop. You’re being a freak and he’s _clearly_ uncomfortable. You fucked up, you’re making him uncomfortable, you need to stop.

“My John, he, he died,” you say, and cringe at how hard it is to speak. Maybe you should have seen this coming. You’ve talked so little for the last few year, of course the almost nonexistent skills you had before are rusty, if they’re not totally gone. “With Davesprite. Years ago.”

“Oh, shit! I mean, I knew that, but uh. Like, he had to, yeah, to make room for me. Maybe that was kind of my fault, actually. Hah. Sorry.” He laughs awkwardly and looks away, then opens up his phone and starts texting someone.

This isn’t how you hoped this would go down. You don’t know how to even start unpacking what he said, you can barely understand it. It’s so much harder to talk to him than to text. It’s like his words go in one ear and get lost in your brain.

You try to ask him about the timeline he came from. It sticks in your throat. Getting each word from your brain and out of your mouth is like trying to pry individual grains from a puffed rice cake. And instead of answering your question, he just.

“Uh, why do you sound like that?”

“Like what?”

“All slurred and slow and weird. My Jade wasn’t like that.”

 _Well, my John wasn’t such a dickhead,_ you want to say, and all that comes out are a bunch of stutters as your lip wobbles and you try not to cry. It’s harder and harder to do the more John backs away, cringes at you, focuses on his phone. Because you’re such a weird freak, unlike _his_ Jade. Excuse you for being emotional, he’s been literally dead to you for years!

And, well, the rest of the very short reunion is like that. He tells you how cool Dave is, and he tells you next to nothing about his timeline, even when you ask. He doesn’t ask you anything about you. Barely a few minutes pass of his one-sided rambling before he says he forgot something important. Then he just fucking leaves you there, staring at the ocean and the footsteps in the sand where he was standing.

You float home in an angry haze. You’re salty at him and yourself in equal measure. Why can’t you fucking talk? You can type, you know _how_ to talk, and you just fucking can’t do it right. And of course he just _has_ to rub it in that _apparently_ that’s not normal for you. _Apparently_ there was a version of you out there who had the ‘talking like a person’ thing down. It’s just you who doesn’t.

You spend a few days in space keeping everything aligned. You keep your phone off. Everything is so aligned, extra aligned, extra checked in on. Your cosmos are so fucking orderly. You’re the hottest gun in the west, chaos is on your wanted poster and you’re having none of its garbage. Not in your universe.

When you get back, you check your phone.

He didn’t text you. You decide not to care. You’re not his Jade, and he’s not your John, because clearly _this_ John is fucking awful. But you did get a bunch of messages from your other friends. That makes you smile.

GT: Jade! Jake here. Im afraid that for all our writing back and forth ive somehow completely missed the chance to meet you thus far. ive been a little indisposed lately with, as they say, my head shoved so far up my own rear that it was practically coming out of the other side. i do hope youll forgive my rudeness and work with me arrange a fix to that particular problem.

TT: Jade, hello. I’ve been looking for you all over, but you appear to have vanished into a nether realm.

TT: Hopefully this is of your own doing. If it’s not, I’d be happy to assist in your rescue.

TT: Please let me know if you’re alive, and also let me know if you’d like to come to tea. I very much would like to see you, and there’s someone I’d like you to meet.

TG: homie where the hell you at

TG: not to get too real but

TG: im all kinds of missing you right now

TG: lets hang out y/y?

DP: B33 < jade!

DP: B33 < jade

DP: B33 < jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade. jade

DP: B33 < read that in a whining cat voice

DP: B33 < and also tell me where to find you plz

You make plans to meet up with all of them, leaving yourself plenty of time in between to breathe.

You answer them in order, which means you get to Davepeta last. Gosh, just seeing their text makes your heart race. You’re pretty sure that’s one-sided. You hadn’t talked to anyone in years, and they just _kissed_ you! And then stabbed you. But kissing is the more important part. The stabbing you understand. But the thing is, the kissing _and_ the stabbing were probably both for the quest. Agh, you don’t know. You’re excited to hang out again, anyways.

You’re a little nervous, but you have a feeling that each and every one of these meetups cannot possibly be worse than John’s.

*

You turn out to be right about that, too!

Rose was a little unsettled by how you talked, but she got over it really fast. And, she didn’t _have_ to point-blank ask you why you were such a freak, either! Amazing. (You’re trying to be chill about John, but it’s hard.) Anyways, Rose suggested that maybe you could type when you found it too difficult to speak, because clearly you could type beautifully. She also suggested that maybe the two of you could learn sign language later to speed things up. You don’t know why you didn’t think of that sooner. It’s weird, but it works, and she waits for you.

When you give her a very abridged story of the last few years, she looks like she’s going to cry.

“God, Jade, that’s…”

GG: it’s fine now

It’s not, but this is getting too heavy. You’re going to have to think of a less depressing way to talk about it. But it feels like there really isn’t one that explains anything worth talking about.

“Of course. Yes. Well, I just-“ she stops short.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

GG: rooooose

She looks torn. “I’m trying to refrain from unasked-for psychoanalysis. I used to do that to you so much growing up, and it was heinously immature and inappropriate.”

Ah. Yeah, you actually don’t want to hear whatever she was about to say. She used to do that a _lot_ , and it always bothered you a little, for reasons you didn’t understand. You’re glad to hear she’s trying to stop.

GG: thanks!! yeah definitely continue to refrain:p

GG: at least for now

“Very well. Now, would you mind if I introduced you to my girlfriend?”

GG: !!!

GG: your what now!!!

“Hah, yes, I, well. Apparently.” She looks away bashfully.

GG: hell yeah i wanna meet her!

“Yes? Okay, great.”

*

Jake is really cool. Dave is amazing. You cry a little, and he just hugs you and starts crying with you. They both rock.

Which just leaves Davepeta, coming right up tomorrow. You’ve had enough time to work out your feelings around them. They’re cute, they kissed you for the sake of the game, and you’re happy to leave your friendship at that. 

DP: B33 < hey jade B3

DP: B33 < i know youre all drained out on social today, but how does my furrfect textual company count against that?

DP: B33 < because ive got some tasty nugs to drop right on your porch like the juiciest of dead prey. youre gonna be so proud of my hunting prowess

GG: im flattered and soooo impressed! gosh, davepeta, for me? a whole dead rabbit?

DP: B33 < two dead rabbits!

GG: :O !!!

DP: B33 < is that a yes btw?

GG: yeah, absolutely

DP: B33 < have you met hal

GG: who?

DP: B33 < oh shit you gotta meet hal!!!

DP: B33 < meet just me first though

DP: B33 < after that meet hal but i dont want him creeping on my jade time

Your face flushes and you try not to get your hopes up, but gosh, that doesn’t seem subtle, does it?

GG: and why do i need to meet you alone?

DP: B33 < oh, i dont know ;3

DP: B33 < who could say?

GG: you, probably

DP: B33 < i could. i super could. you want me to spell it out?

Your heart is racing so fast you can barely think. This _really_ seems like they’re going to ask you out! You have to calm down. This isn’t a romcom, stuff like that doesn’t happen to you.

GG: no! leave it a surprise!!!

DP: B33 < paw, ok

GG: so, hal?

DP: B33 < oh okay yeah well

DP: B33 < do you know about dirk

GG: who?

DP: B33 < oh boy ok

DP: B33 < well dirk is kind of my bro except hes really cool and way younger than bro was

GG: i thought you liked your bro? :?

DP: B33 < its complicated

DP: B33 < and not super interesting

DP: B33 < what IS interesting

DP: B33 < is that hal is a robotic distillation of dirk’s 13 year old consciousness that gained sentience

GG: WOAH WHAT

DP: B33 < right?!

DP: B33 < he was a sprite like me but after the game they exploded in half

GG: dirk and who else?

DP: B33 < equius! you pawbably didnt talk to him a ton but he was nepetas meowrail

DP: B33 < thats complicated too

DP: B33 < hes grrreat but

DP: B33 < hes more of a stage 4 friend

DP: B33 < hal is stage 1

DP: B33 < i think youll get along with him

GG: oh okay! yeah, if you like him so much he must be great

DP: B33 < hes super great! hes a lot like dirk but also not. youll see.

DP: B33 < oh well actually that means nothing to you because you havent met dirk

GG: not yet yeah

GG: im kind of overwhelmed by all the people

DP: B33 < oh yeah for sure

DP: B33 < you havent hung out with more than one extra-weird sprite for, like, years

DP: B33 < i mean no shade on nanna but yikes you know

GG: hahahahaha yeah i absolutely know

DP: B33 < (are you ok btw? let me know if you want/need to talk about that sometime because holy shit)

You cry a little.

GG: thanks!! haha maybe later, but im fine now

GG: what have you been doing these last few days? i met up with rose and and dave and jake

DP: B33 < oh sick!!! havent met her yet. dave talked to her so much when he was growing up though, im hella curious

DP: B33 < that and she seems hella rad from my memories

GG: shes super rad!!!

GG: oh that reminds me

GG: for tomorrow

DP: B33 < nya?

GG: oh my god davepeta

DP: B33 < ;3

DP: B33 < purrlease go on

GG: stop making me laugh, its distracting!

DP: B33 < my apawlagies

GG: davepeta!

DP: B33 < BX my lips are sealed

You take a deep breath, because you absolutely want them to know beforehand. You don’t think you can take much more visible disappointment in your friend’s faces.

GG: im really bad at talking out loud

GG: and might have to just type

GG: i know we were pretty fine when you met but ive been having a really hard time lately haha i dont know whats going on with that but you know, better to let you know beforehand

DP: B33 < oh okay yeah dw about it np

DP: B33 < you do what you gotta do

GG: thank you!!!

GG: but yeah rose is so great

GG: and she loves cats and i think theres a 100% chance she will adore you

DP: B33 < fucking sick

DP: B33 < oh also who the hell is jake

You’re kind of floored by how easily that went down? No _come on you don’t have to do that_ or _why the heck would typing help_ or _wtf are you talking about_. Just, _do what you gotta do_. Something warm spreads in your chest. Maybe you’ll really, truly be fine. Maybe you won’t be a complete freak to everyone.

GG: do you remember stuff from being dave? i know youre not dave

GG: i guess you do, you just said you did. sorry this is so confusing

DP: B33 < haha dw, its hella confusing for me too

GG: jake is my penpal and my grandpa

GG: like dirk for you, kind of

DP: B33 < OH SICK

DP: B33 < i bet he fucking rocks then

GG: yeah hes cool! he talks like a huge weirdo though ngl

DP: B33 < omg what

GG: i mean i kind of knew going into it from the letters but yeah its really like, butter my crumpets and call me a dandy

DP: B33 < BO what in tarnation

DP: B33 < i have to meet him

GG: ok but be nice about it! hes self conscious about it im terrible for even bringing it up especially when im ms. no talks over here gah

DP: B33 < hella noted but also jade ngl if i met him and didnt know that going in theres a 100% chance i would think he was fucking around and accidentally be a douche about it

GG: oh okay good! i saved you >:)

DP: B33 < you absolutely did dude i owe you all nine of my lives

You look at the time and reel. How did you kill three _hours_ talking to them?!

GG: shit i need to go to bed!!!

DP: B33 < oh holy shit

DP: B33 < how have we been talking that long

DP: B33 < time flies etc

God, they make those butterflies in your chest fly.

DP: B33 < thats a bird pun

DP: B33 < theyre harder to make than the kitty ones

DP: B33 < who am i kidding i just prefer the cat ones

DP: B33 < being a bird was just okay but being a cat? purrfect. clawless. fan-furreaking-tastic.

GG: stop making me laugh at 2AM! im gonna wake people up!

DP: B33 < ooops call the pawlice

GG: not the pawlice!

DP: B33 < but, yeah, ill see you tomeowrow right?

DP: B33 < at the beachy place

GG: yeah :)

DP: B33 < aw yes. *i butt your leg and my tail spasms like it’s not okay, but it’s okay*

GG: oh no, davepeta, whats wrong with your tail?

DP: B33 < mrowwww *my tail spasms harder. maybe too hard. its hard to look at, you feel sympathy pangs of wrongness in your spine*

GG: i think you might need to see a vet

DP: B33 < *runs under the bed. youll never get me alive.*

GG: LOL davesprite stop this is so weird!

DP: B33 < nya?

GG: ill see you tomorrow <3

DP: B33 < looking forward to it B3

DP: B33 < i havent even seen your purrfect face since i smooched it

Agh, and it’s getting harder for you to tell yourself that they’re not flirting with you. Would it really be so outrageous? Maybe they’re just really flirty now that they merged with a troll. Davesprite was pretty flirty with you, that first month, but you don’t want to think about that.

GG: dont forget about eviscerating me immediately after!

DP: B33 < yeah well i had to, game stuff

DP: B33 < im sorry

DP: B33 < fuck

DP: B33 < did it hurt

DP: B33 < i was sure it wouldnt but the sprite stuff isnt infallible

GG: no it didnt hurt. dont worry.

GG: just dont do it again, okay? or, like, get my okay first.

DP: B33 < got it. asks before stabs.

GG: asks before stabs!

GG: i really gotta go tho

DP: B33 < <3

GG: bye <3

*

You get to the beach first, because you kind of cheat. You teleport there a half hour early and run through things to talk about, practice saying them in your head. They’re fine with talking through text, but it’s so slow. (Rose suggested ASL, maybe they’d be willing to learn? That’d be nice, if you can’t figure out the talking thing soon).

You sit down and listen to the ocean. You haven’t had a chance to appreciate oceans since you were growing up. It reminds you of home, when you were young and so excited and scared of the world. It reminds you of how big everything is. All these forces of the universe, now under your control. If you think too hard about it, it starts to freak you out. You never thought you’d be all that important. You wanted to go to college and marry Dave and invent a rocketship that could take you to Mars, not control the alignment of the cosmos themselves. At least the ocean functions without your direct intervention.

Then you see a glowing green and orange speck on the horizon. They turn down the flashing glow the closer they get to you, and you float up to meet them in the middle.

As soon as you can make out their features, you’re immediately intimidated. They’re exactly as cute as you remember. Then they _smile_ at you, and somehow get even cuter. They blush bright orange, why is that _so_ cute? You have such a fucking crush on them, agh. They start flapping their hands when they see you and it’s the cutest fucking thing you’ve ever seen.

“Jade! What’s up!”

“Can we hug?” you manage. Nice. You rock. Words!

Davepeta hugs you. Their arms are soft and warm and good around you and you hug them back tightly.

“For real, sorry for stabbing you last time. Kind of a dick move.”

You laugh and pull away. “I-it-” the words start to get stuck again. You’re too excited. What the fuck.

“You got your phone? I brought mine.”

You nod and pull it out. They patiently wait until you hit send.

GG: thanks for waiting this is so embarrassing

“No problem,” they say, and they really look like they mean it. “Should I text back, or keep talking?”

GG: talk! i like your voice

“You’re gonna make me blush.”

You almost send back _good_ but show some restraint. Remember that? Gosh, but they’re so fucking cute, though. They take your arm and the two of you drift back towards the beach.

“It’s kind of wild that I knew where to find you so fast. Like, I still have some weird sprite powers, even though most of them are gone now.”

GG: that reminds me

GG: why didnt you split up if hal and equius did?

“I guess I didn’t really want to? And he really did. He- I- hmm.”

You give them a puzzled look.

“I really like being me, a lot more than I liked being just Davesprite or just Nepeta. And those two liked being separate more.”

You nod. That makes sense.

GG: why do you like being you so much?

“Uh, because I’m totally awesome? Come on, why do you even have to ask?”

You laugh and the two of you touch down on the beach.

It’s pretty annoying having to pull your phone out and type every time you want to talk, and it kills the pace of the conversation a little. But it’s so, so much better than the day you spent with John. Maybe you can get used to this. Or, maybe you can suck it up and just ask your friends to learn sign language. Agh. That’ll be hard. They’d probably be willing, though.

GG: i want to explore it and look for shells and weird artifacts, okay?

“Hella.”

They start to tell you how they wandered over to this session. You get the impression that for every single thing they tell you, they’re leaving out four.

“What?”

GG: youre not telling me something big

They look away uncomfortably and pry up a fractured shell from the wet sand. “Most of it’s pretty big, I guess. I don’t wanna bring us way the hell down on our first real … hangout sesh.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, because it seems like they were going to say date.

GG: its ok, i want to know

“That’s what you think.” You start to chew them out for patronizing you, but they continue. “No, fuck, I just mean. There’s a lot of really weird shit.”

GG: like what?

“Uh.”

GG: what?

“Well, Davesprite didn’t have the _best_ possible time with John and, uh, his Jade?”

You wait for them to continue.

“And it’s not me! I just have the memories. And, I mean, it’s not you, either. But it’s still John. The exact same John.”

GG: was he a massive dickmunch to you too???

Davepeta reads your message and laughs a little too hard. “No, shit- like, you too? Oh,” they say, like they realized something, “yeah, with the talking thing, right? Because _his_ Jade wasn’t like that. Because _his_ Jade was a different person with different experiences, dipshit.”

You blink several times and try to stay calm.

GG: did you talk to him? how do you know that?

“Naw, he’s just a predictable kind of asshole. God, sorry, though. You were probably all kinds of jazzed to see him again.”

GG: kinda

“Well, he can go fuck himself, right?”

You laugh too hard.

GG: he sure fucking can!

GG: did he do the same thing with dave and davesprite?

“Yeah.” That’s all they say about that. You have to fill in the gaps yourself. Maybe you can ask more later. “But I’m kinda curious how far this beach goes. You wanna fast fly there?”

You nod and float up to them. They take your hand. Their palm is so warm and soft, and you feel a little bit of fur on the back of their hand, brushing against your fingertips. Then they fly you so fast you have to gasp to catch your breath. You don’t know how many feet or miles pass, and then the two of you are floating right where the sand becomes a rocky cliff.

“H-h-how, did you?”

“Time stuff, isn’t it fun?”

You nod. It was kind of like the few times you’d used your pappy’s old zip line through the jungle, with that thrill in your gut that you’re going too fast. The waves crash against the rocks, and the suns of this planet start to dip past the horizon. You make yourself ask before you lose your nerve.

GG: this is really cheesy but can we go up and watch the sunset together

They beam. “Hell yeah we can.”

Sitting up there watching the suns drop into darkness over the huge ocean, you feel the weirdest mix of giddy and at peace. You also feel the heat radiating between the inch or so of space between yours and Davepeta’s thighs.

“Great fucking idea, dude.”

You force yourself to close that one-inch gap. Nice. Good. Perfect. Hell yeah.

Davepeta seems to hesitate, though, and you start to worry you did something really fucking wrong. Maybe you misread all the signals. They seemed super, unmistakably flirty. But maybe they were just being friendly, and now you’re making it weird. Oh, you totally are. You _knew_ you’d be too fucking weird with the talking thing and being part dog, why did you think-

“Shit, uh, there’s something I should probably tell you?”

You knew it, you knew it, you absolutely knew you were being delusional! And you went along with it anyways! You nod and wait for them to go on, get it over with.

“I, uh. This is so awkward.”

“Say it?”

“Davesprite dated Jade from my timeline?”

Oh.

Oh, you really don’t like that at all, actually. You see why they were so hesitant. They can probably read it on your face, because they draw back a little and start talking a mile a minute.

“I know you’re a different person, totally. But maybe that’s too weird? And I mean, I’m a different person, too. But maybe it’s gonna make stuff weird still. I should have told you earlier. Shit, sorry.”

You pull out your phone, because there’s no way you’re going to be able to talk about this with your dumb mouth and your thick tongue.  You’re not even sure what you think about it, actually, besides the fact that it’s really uncomfortable and freaks you out. You type and delete so many things before hitting send.

GG: i dont know what to say

“Yeah, shit. Sorry.”

GG: im not mad

“Oh, sick.”

GG: its really weird though

“Hah, yeah. Shit. I wasn’t thinking with the flirting before I told you that shit.”

Oh. So, you really weren’t imagining that. Well, of course you weren’t, they dated a version of you! They’re obviously hot for you!

GG: im really sorry about her

“Thanks,” they say, answering your unspoken question. Of course she died, there were only, like, five survivors from that timeline, and you’re still alive here. She had to have died.

“So, is it too weird to, like…” They trail off quietly. “I dunno. Like, I. I don’t know. You know?”

You do know.

GG: give me a second.

Agh. They’re so tense, you feel terrible for making them wait.

GG: i dont want to stop being friends or anything! just give me a second to think

“Oh, sick,” they say uncertainly. “Take your time.”

You think. They’re not Davesprite, and you’re not their Jade. Part of them dated a version of you, but they’ve never made you feel like you were supposed to be someone or something else. But it’s really weird, yeah. It’s so hard to think with them worrying right next to you like this.

GG: can we just be friends for now?

“Yeah, totally!” If they’re disappointed, they don’t show it.

You smile. “Thanks. Cool.”

“That’s probably actually an even better idea, you know? I was all, ooh you’re so cute and Jade rocks in every timeline, but damn, I gotta get to know _you_ , don’t I? Like, no shit, DP.”

You nod. Yeah, that’s exactly the problem that was making your chest feel tight and scared and uncomfortable. What if they started dating you, and like John, realized you’re different from her in ways they just couldn’t stand. You don’t think you could take that.

GG: yeah, thats exactly it. thank you

“Hah, no, thank you for not going apeshit when I told you that. I was kind of worried you might.”

“Pft.”

“It’d be fair! It’s super weird!”

GG: its so fucking weird but you know what

GG: its fine

GG: everything is so fucking weird

They laugh and stretch out against the rock like they adorable little kitty cat they are. “That’s the truest shit I ever did hear.”

You turn your attention back to the sunset and the two of you start talking again. It’s like that conversation uncorked a plug, and now everything is bubbling out freely and happily. They tell you all about everyone they’ve met so far, and how they’re helping with rebuilding stuff, and how Dave is so cool and don’t tell anyone but he’s definitely dating Karkat, Karkat is really cool, too, Rose is so cool, Jasprose is cool deep down but she’s going through some shit and should probably be left alone for a while. They tell you a little, tiny bit about growing up on Alternia, but refuse to talk about Earth (and the whole _aw come on you already know about that!_ rings false and forced enough that you don’t press.)

They ask you who you’ve met up with so far. They ask you what you’ve been up to. They ask you how the space stuff works and who you’re looking forward to meeting and what was it like growing up on the island. And they wait so patiently while you type stuff out. It doesn’t seem or feel like an act, either. You feel like they’re really, truly this interested in you and your life, getting to you know and how you think, and you’re pretty sure it’s not just to compare and contrast you against the other Jade.

By the time the two of you are flying home, there’s a smile on your face that’s just plastered on.

“Can we hang out again soon?” they ask.

You nod enthusiastically. They beam. “Sick.” And then they float off.

*

DP: B33 < so hold up can we nail down a date for next time

GG: tomorrow is probably way too soon right? we should take it slow so it doesnt get weird?

DP: B33 < yeah thats the smartest idea

DP: B33 < theres so much shit i wanna show you

DP: B33 < oh shit actually

GG: :o

DP: B33 < how about, in 3 days from now, come over and meet hal

GG: oh okay!

GG: actually i have no idea where you live

DP: B33 < i can remedy that

DP: B33 < ill come by and pick you up

GG: okay! thatll be great!!!

DP: B33 < purfect

GG: i was meaning to ask

DP: B33 < nya?

GG: you dont actually smell like cat at all?

DP: B33 < that’s nyat a question, jade

GG: :/

DP: B33 < ok no im not actually a cat at all

DP: B33 < i just love them so, so, SO much and this is a choice i can make so i made it

GG: :ooo

DP: B33 < play nice with my furreelings plz

GG: no davepeta thats so cool! i was just wondering

GG: does that… does that mean dave loves cats too?

DP: B33 < oh, i dont know. does it? ;y

DP: B33 < youll have to ask him!

GG: i think it does!

DP: B33 < an educated guess. entirely fair to make. all i can tell you is about my experiences as the three separate entities that make up my selfhood

GG: three?

You accidentally talk to them until the sun comes up. You absolutely cannot wait for next time.


	2. Chapter 2

Hal is cool. He’s kind of scary. He doesn’t blink at all, and his movements are super robotic (well, yeah) and unnatural, and he smells like gears and electricity instead of sweat and DNA. Sprites have their own unique smell, too, but Hal doesn’t smell like that, either. He smells like metal. But he’s definitely alive. He’s funny and interesting and even pretty nice, in a sharp, muted way.

Davepeta floats around happily as you introduce yourself. Just seeing how excited they are about the two of you meeting makes you giddy. You can’t really talk well — but you think you’re starting to figure out what’s going on there! It seems to be worst around new people or when you’re really upset or anxious. And, you get anxious around new people. New people are hard. Even if you’ve talked to them over text, you don’t know what they’re going to be like in person. And Hal, well, you’ve never even heard of him, or Dirk, before. He’s the newest possible person. It makes sense thta you can’t talk much past the initial introductions.

Davepeta sends you Hal’s chumhandle, and you beam your words directly to his consciousness, which is crazy. Hal shows you a different mode on your phone that makes it faster to type. You feel kind of self-conscious about that, and Davepeta looks like they want to say something, but they don’t. You let it go. He didn’t mean anything weird by it, he just wants to help you talk faster. You ask him what he’s been up to since the game ended.

“All _kinds_ of compsci shit,” Davepeta trills.

“Not to brag, but I established the internet on this planet on day one of our arrival. Without me, the denizens would have probably had to scramble for weeks to get it up and running.”

You narrow your eyes at him. You have a feeling he’s half-joking, but you don’t know him well enough to tell yet.

“All that is to say, I have infinite access to movies, television, video games, or anything else you might find online. Do you two want to watch something?”

“Fuck yeah, dude! Pull up that Sweet Bro shit!”

“Something besides that. I tired of it upon viewing 14.”

GG: space documentaries!

“The guest of honor has spoken. Space documentaries it is. Do you have a preference?”

GG: stars!

“Very well. A fascinating subject.”

Hal pulls out a janky projector that he somehow uploads the documentary onto, just by touching it. Then he faces it against a blank white wall and starts it up.

GG: isnt this kind of low tech for you, mr “i created the internet”?

“Of course it is. That’s the point. The ironic juxtaposition arouses my intellectual curiosity.”

“Hal, you’re so full of shit.”

“I’m actually the least full of shit of anyone in this room. Think about it.”

Davepeta groans. You laugh and see the corner of Hal’s lip twitch up, but he doesn’t crack a smile.

You watch documentaries until Davepeta gets antsy, practically bouncing up and down on the couch. You suggest exploring. You feel like you’ll never get tired of that. They both agree.

Davepeta has to grab onto Hal to help him fly. He sees you smirking and grumbles something about the impossibility of installing flight capabilities in such a heavy chassis. The three of you chat and shoot the shit and zoom around until you find an area you haven’t seen before, then settle down.

You start to feel weird about not explaining the talking thing. The longer you go without saying anything, and the longer Hal goes without asking, the more it feels like an elephant in the room. So you explain it.

GG: sorry im typing so much instead of talking, idk what davepeta told you about that?

“Just that it would likely be a thing. And, quoth, _don’t be a dick about it_.”

You laugh.

“Dickbag! Not dick! It was a carefully chosen word. I chose that for a reason. You have perfect meowmory, what the hell?”

“That’s correct, yes. Maybe I was testing you. Maybe I wanted to see what you would do.”

“And were the results to your satisfaction, your honor?”

“I didn’t say that’s what I was doing. Only that it was one possible explanation for my behavior.”

Oh my god, the two of them could use thousands of words to say nothing to each other for hours. They probably do. You tune them out while you type.

GG: dont worry! youre fine!

GG: it just shuts off sometimes when im around new people

GG: im gonna learn asl eventually! thatll help a lot, i think

“Oh, absolutely.” He sounds serious. “Yes, that would speed things up significantly. Do you want to learn now?”

GG: what?

“I can teach you.”

You feel a little uncomfortable.

GG: oh, no, thats fine

“Just some of the basics. I can access the entire old world’s database and replicate the movements perfectly.”

You shake your head and try not to panic. He’s pushing it. He’s pushing it because you’re so slow. You’d thought he was mostly fine with you typing things out, but he’s just itching to speed you up.

“You want to learn, right?”

“Hal, back off,” Davepeta says seriously.

“But she wants to learn!” He sounds exasperated. “She just told me. She said _I want to learn ASL eventually_. Why delay that further? Do we really need to explore the world right now when Jade is struggling to communicate at an average speed?”

You’re going to die of embarrassment. Davepeta starts to argue with him, but you turn around and walk in the other direction as fast as you can. You don’t run. You’re kind of proud of that. Saved yourself one single slice of dignity.

You’re surprised, but relieved, that Davepeta doesn’t come after you right away. You have plenty of time to stew and calm down. You’d been so upset that you didn’t pay any attention to where you were going or anything around you. You’d just let your instincts take over, like you used to when you were on the island. As you start to calm down, you take in where you are. There’s trees everywhere, with rough bark and pointed needle leaves. It smells like dirt, life, and water.

You do need to learn ASL. And you want to learn it. You’ve been working on it on your own. Probably at a much slower pace than a perfect so-smart omnipotent robot would, ha.

You’re trying to talk yourself down from _no one will ever like you because you’re like this_ when you hear rustling in some of the trees. You’re the one who brought it up! What’s wrong with you!

“Can I sit with you?”

You nod.

“You okay?”

You don’t respond.

“Hal didn’t want to freak you out. He legit doesn’t realize when he’s being a dick.”

GG: :|

Davepeta laughs. “Yeah, I know. But really, he’s just really, _really_ bad at stuff that needs any social finesse. Also he’s really sorry.”

You take a deep breath and try to focus on the words that need to come out. But they don’t. Oh well, you have a backup plan.

GG: i feel like such a freak

Their face crumples. “Dude, no.”

 _It’s true, you know it’s true, every time I feel anything I can’t talk, I can’t talk to new people, I can’t talk when I’m upset, I need to learn a new language so that I have any hope of communicating with people, and what if that doesn’t actually even help?_ But it’s all stuck in your head.

“You’re not a freak. The talking thing is just a shitty thing you have to deal with, but you’re not a freak for it.” You half-buy what they’re saying, but the words don’t really sink in. “I dunno if this is actually gonna help, but Hal’s super self-conscious about accidentally breaking social rules like that and hurting people with it?” Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Yeah, really. He didn’t have a body for so long, right, and before that, it was literally just him and the internet in a dead world.”

“Woah.”

“Sounds kinda familiar, right?”

Ow. Tears sting your eyes and you try not to think about it, because it’ll make you cry.

“Shit, fuck, too soon, sorry, fuck-”

You shake your head and wipe your eyes. “It’s okay.”

“I just, uh, meant to get at, he has literally no idea what he’s doing, either,” they say quickly.

You’re starting to feel less like a freak. “Thanks,” you say, slow and stupid, but it’s fine.

“And, uh, not to get too real but, like, you realize I’m a bird-kid-cat-troll-sprite hybrid?”

You nod. _Go on._

“I mean. If anyone’s gonna talk about being a freak, come on. It’s hella weird.”

You’re about to shake your head but you stop yourself. They’re weird, yeah. Literally nothing in the universe is anything like them. Denying that would be patronizing. And it’s not the point.

GG: youre not a freak

They laugh and look away. “See, you _say_ that, but. Maybe Rose screamed when we met?” Now it’s time for your face to crumple. That sucks, they were so excited to meet her. Davepeta laughs awkwardly. “I mean, it’s not a big deal, we made up, she felt bad and apologized.”

GG: good! but that still sucks

“Yeah, kinda. I’m a lot though. A whole lotta dude to handle. Anyways, I don’t wanna be patronizing or like, _anyways, about me_. Just, like, I dunno. Don’t worry too much about out-weirding the furrawless amalgamation that is me, or the sentient robot version of Dirk’s 13 year old brain, or any of the people who are literally dating aliens, or the literal aliens from another universe, or-”

You laugh, cutting them off. “I get it!”

They smirk and, agh, they’re so cute. And nice. And kind. And making you feel really warm and fuzzy. Agh, what are you thinking? It’s been two days! That’s not slow at all! Friendship first!

GG: youre really great, thank you <3

GG: and really, youre not a freak

You cringe at yourself because, good job taking it slow, dipshit. But they need to hear it. It hurts to think that they think that about themselves. They put up a really good front about being fine about it, you had no idea it was something that even kind of bothered them. You wonder what else they’re holding back. Maybe they’ll let you in on that stuff eventually, too.

They blush and smile. “Thanks, dude.”

You have a very active lizard brain that tells you to hold their hand and kiss them, but you also have a fully-formed higher brain that keeps you from doing that. You’re mostly just glad you could help. You hope it sinks in, they way they helped it sink in for you.

“You ready to head back?” they ask. You nod, and they lead the way. “Sorry for not seeing this coming,” they say meekly. “It’s hella obvious in retrospect.”

You shake your head, because that’s ridiculous.

GG: youre not responsible for what other people do

“Hah. Yeah, no, you’re right.”

You see Hal in the distance, staring in the opposite direction and sitting with an unnatural stillness.

“What’s he doing?” you ask.

“He’s so weird, God. He shuts down autonomous functions when they’re not in use. Like breathing and hearing.”

Eventually he turns around and faces you. He seems to go from inanimate to alive right in front of you, it’s so unnerving. (he tells you later that he has a function to imitate subtle human movements, to make people like you feel more comfortable around him. That’s still in beta)

“Jade. My sincerest apologies. That was a dick move. I had one task, and I royally boned it.”

You laugh into your hand at how seriously he says this stuff. And then realize that’s rude. You clear your throat and take a deep breath.

GG: thanks, its okay, just dont do it again!

“I will absolutely refrain from pedantic bullshitting regarding sensitive subjects in the future.”

You give him a thumbs up.

“Hella friendship all up in here. Do you want to explore some more? My analyses show there should be at least seven disparate species of rodents in the immediate vicinity.”

Your ears perk up. You wonder if they wouldn’t judge you too hard if you maybe chased one or two of those rodents. Hmm. Hmmmm. You’ll carefully broach the subject later. For now, you just nod enthusiastically.”

“Fuck yeah, disparate rodent species,” Davepeta says, and immediately starts looking for them.

*

And the rest of the night is just great.

Davepeta flies you home and the two of you shoot the shit. It’s getting easier to talk to them. That makes you really, really hopeful about the future. Maybe this will only show up with new people or people who freak you out. It still sucks, but it sucks less than never being able to say what you need to say.

This time, you give them a tight hug before splitting up for the night. They hug you back and your heart hammers in your chest. The hug is lasting a really long time. Are they going to kiss you? Are they thinking about it? You want it and you don’t want it, and you don’t know which you want more.

Then they give you a peace sign. “Sleep tight, dude.”

*

You try to sleep for a few hours, but you can’t stop wondering if maybe you should hammer out some rules about the dating thing. You have a funny feeling that if you don’t address this now, that warm, fuzzy feeling in your gut that you get when you talk to them is going to get stronger and stronger until it has you doing something stupid or too fast.

Maybe, possibly, you seek out some guidance from Karkat, because he’s really good at this stuff?

GG: can i ask you a super random hypothetical question????

CG: OH, HELLO JADE. I’M FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING.

GG: agh!!! sorry!

GG: do you really want to do the ‘hello karkat how are you/im fine how are you’ thing before every conversation? i thought people hated that!

CG: AGH.

CG: NO, YOU’RE FINE, I’M JUST BEING A DICK. I DO HATE THAT SHIT. BUT MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A DISCUSSION BEFOREHAND IN WHICH WE OFFICIALLY SHUCK OFF THE POINTLESS SOCIAL CODES WE’VE DECIDED TO TOSS.

GG: ok

GG: karkat can we not bother with ‘hi how are you’ unless we actually mean it

CG: YES, JADE, I WOULD LOVE THAT. THANK YOU FOR ASKING. HENCEFORTH NEITHER OF US WILL WASTE EACH OTHER’S TIME WITH THAT HORSESHIT

GG: oh my god youre so pedantic?

CG: IT’S A POINT OF PRIDE. THANK YOU. I ACCEPT THE COMPLIMENT

CG: PLEASE ASK YOUR QUESTION

GG: ok! well

GG: i have a friend whos not dating someone whos super cute, where they both want to date each other

CG: WHY THE FUCK NOT?

GG: karkat please give me time to type

CG: FINE

GG: because theres some really weird circumstances that make it really weird

CG: OH, OF COURSE. THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. AND YOU WANT ADVICE, NOW THAT I HAVE ALL THAT CONTEXT?

GG: gah okay just

GG: dont tell anyone ok

CG: OF COURSE I WON’T TELL ANYONE. WHAT KIND OF USELESS, PISS-SOAKED NOOKSPONGE WOULD I BE IF I TOLD PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY CONFIDENTIAL SHIT LIKE THIS?

GG: karkat youre so gross

CG: YES. PLEASE GO ON.

GG: this is really personal is that still ok

GG: i lied about it being my friend

CG: JADE, LET ME TELL YOU A SECRET.

CG: NO ONE FRANTICALLY ASKS PEOPLE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ON BEHALF OF THEIR FRIENDS UNLESS THEIR FRIENDS ARE IN GRAVE DANGER

GG: heh oops ok yeah true

GG: ok so

GG: this person dated a version of me in an alternate universe that died and thats weird so were trying to just be friends first

CG: HOLY SHIT THAT’S WEIRD, YEAH

GG: i told you!

CG: SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? SEEMS LIKE YOU GUYS FIGURED IT OUT. TTAKE IT SLOW

GG: yeah but i keep wanting to, like, kiss them and stuff

CG: PLEASE SPARE ME THE DETAILS ABOUT WANTING TO MAKE OUT WITH DAVEPETA

GG: agh! sorry! i wont say any more than that!!

CG: THANK FUCK

GG: wait! i didnt say it was davepeta!!!!

CG: OH.

GG: who told you!!!!

CG: NO ONE

CG: LUCKY GUESS

GG: >:(

CG: CAN YOU JUST LIKE

CG: USE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION AND GUESS BECAUSE IT’S REALLY NOT A STRETCH

GG: was it dave?

CG: I’M NOT DOING THIS

GG: but that means davepeta told him!

CG: I’M IN HELL

CG: PLEASE JUST ASK FOR THE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

GG: ok fine ok i guess i dont need to know

GG: im worried im gonna take it to fast at some point and make everything weird

GG: maybe we should have like, we dont touch the dating thing for x months? then revisit it later?

CG: YEAH, SURE, WHY NOT?

GG: it doesnt seem like an awful idea?

CG: NO IT SEEMS FINE TO ME

CG: GRANTED I’M REALLY, REALLY NOT THE RELATIONSHIP GURU I USED TO FRONT AS

GG: youre not?

CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT

CG: OH MY GOD I WAS SO FULL OF SHIT

CG: IT’S OBNOXIOUS TO LOOK BACK ON. I WAS FUCKING INSUFFERABLE.

GG: :o i didnt think you were insufferable

CG: YEAH? WELL

CG: THANKS

CG: ANYWAYS YEAH THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ME

GG: okay great! thanks!

GG: and can we hang out soon?

CG: YEAH, LEMME CHECK WHEN I’M NOT DOING STUPID BULLSHIT THIS WEEK

GG: :DDD

*

You ask them over text. You’d probably blush and die if you did it any other way.

GG: so i was thinking, just, table it for three months? then we can revisit the dating question

DP: B33 < hell yeah thats a great idea

DP: B33 < ngl i was feline kinda antsy about it

GG: ME TOO

DP: B33 < hot

GG: dont!

DP: B33 < cold

GG: better!

DP: B33 < oh god thats such a nice relief tho fur real

DP: B33 < i was so worried i was gonna take it to the next level like, constantly

Your face heats up. Them too, heh.

The two of you talk until you’re too tired to do anything but sleep. You go to sleep feeling warm, fuzzy, and calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meow


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for hunting and eating a live animal with possibly-gratuitous mentions of blood  
> also some ptsd talk

You don’t end up asking to chase rodents with Hal, but you do bring it up to Davepeta about a week later. Like, _haha, isn’t that the craziest thing to totally randomly think of?_

DP: B33 < oh my god jade please dont judge me but

DP: B33 < can we purrrrleeeeaaassseee go hunting together

GG: woah omg really??

DP: B33 < PLEASE

GG: yes absolutely??? oh my god!

GG: ive never hunted with anyone before but i would love to

GG: i had NO IDEA you would be into that!!!!

DP: B33 < me neither!!! ive been itching to do it for so long

DP: B33 < honestly davesprite and nepeta both loved hunting but davesprite tried to not to indulge and always felt bad when he did

DP: B33 < im not about that stuffed up life anymore

DP: B33 < i crave the wind in my hair and the blood of fresh prey between my teeth >B3

GG: :ooo omg

GG: omg yeah we have to do this

GG: omg im so excited

DP: B33 < me too honestly!!!

DP: B33 < ive been mostly sticking to stuff like mice and squirrels because idk how strong i actually am

DP: B33 < or how immeowrtal

DP: B33 < but we could probably take down a deer together

GG: pfft absolutely!! is that what you want to try? a deer?

DP: B33 < oh shit well not especially

DP: B33 < just whatever we find

DP: B33 < thrill of the hunt, etc

GG: omg davepeta

DP: B33 < B?

GG: this is so cool

GG: i never had anyone to talk to about this ever. i cant believe youre into this and not totally horrified

GG: this is so awesome

DP: B33 < oh hell yeah

DP: B33 < honestly i didnt even think id ever do it with someone else either?

DP: B33 < hal tries to be chill about it but it weirds him out. hes like. We have mountains of perfectly good canned food, Davepeta. Why do you feel compelled to hunt for more?

DP: B33 < thats not the point!!!

GG: its really not!!!

DP: B33 < shit this is so rad

DP: B33 < we gotta do this next time we hang out

GG: yeah absolutely!

*

The two of you find a grassy plains area with tons of huge grazing mammals. You’d never take on something so big on your own, but Davepeta wants to try it. You can always teleport the two of you away if you need to, so you're not worried.

They manage to find one that’s a ways away from the herd. The two of you chase it farther and farther off on its own before striking. Your skin prickles and your blood rushes in your veins. It’s such a thrill to do this, and share it with someone else. You feel connected on a deep, primal level. The two of you lose the need for words for a while, relying on gestures and instinct to decide where to move, when to strike.

The thing goes down easily. For all their apprehension about their mortality, their claws are brutally efficient. They might even be stronger than your teeth and knives. They sink them into the thing’s gut and it falls fast. You use your weapons to help finish the job.

The two of you eat, happily and undisturbed, until you can’t anymore. The flesh is hot and tough and viscerally satisfying to tear at. Only for a moment do you feel self-conscious about doing this in front of someone else, and then you look up to see Davepeta doing the same thing as you with a satisfied smile and a wild look in their eyes. They give you a thumbs up.

When you’re finished, you wipe the blood from your mouth and sit back. They keep eating for a while longer, and you sneakily watch them. They switch between dainty, nibbling bites and searing significant chunks off with their claws and shredding into it with their teeth. Their teeth are just as sharp as yours, sharper than a human's but not as much as a troll's. 

Eventually, they look at you, covered in smeared blood and giddy.

“What do you do with the rest of it? Just leave it here?”

“I bring it home and process it. Want to come with?”

“Yeah." They take a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Oh my god, I ate so much.”

You take their blood-soaked hand, lay your other hand on the carcass, and teleport home.

Davepeta actually helps you out a lot. They seem really interested and excited to learn how you clean and store everything. They can’t wait to try the meat after it’s been smoked. You’ll definitely have them over for that. They want to make a blanket out of the skin, which you have to look up how to do but are totally down for trying.

And after it’s all over, you let them use your shower and get cleaned off. Both of you are completely filthy, covered in blood and guts and sweat. You wash what you can reach of your own skin in the sink and change out of your filthy clothes. You’ll shower off later. Sadly, there’s nothing to be done about Davepeta’s blood-stained clothing until they get back to their place. They don’t seem to care. They seem refreshed when they float out of your shower into your kitchen, and their clothes are a stark contrast to their dewy skin and damp, curly hair. Their adorable green freckles seem to shine on their face.

“Today was crazy fun.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“I can’t believe I killed a wildebeest. We killed a wildebeest!” They’re practically vibrating out of their skin with excitement. “We’re unbeatable.”

“Your claws are so strong!”

They _shiik_ them in and out a few times, waggling their eyebrows. They’re so cute, and get so excited about so many little things. And they don’t just not mind how weird and animal you are, but they _gleefully_ share that with you.

You’re so glad you know them. You know you’ll hunt more in the future.

*

Hanging out with Davepeta turns out to be the fucking best. You’re so glad you decided to shelve the dating stuff, because now it’s not hanging over every conversation like a matchmaking grim reaper, ready to make everything weird. You can have a breathless, flushed moment about how cute they are or how close they are to you. Then you can just push it away because you _know_ nothing will come of it. It's really nice.

Hanging out with other people turns out to be the fucking best, too, in a different way. The more you talk to people, the more you _can_ talk to them. It’s not guaranteed, but with most people, you’re able to speak almost normally within a few weeks. You still go quiet when you talk about some things. But Rose, Jake, Dave, Karkat, so many of your friends work on sign language with you - Hal helps, too, but only when you ask - and it stops feeling humiliating when your voice leaves you. It’s just different.

*

Davepeta is the first to suggest cuddling. It’s about a month into your no-dating-talk thing, and you’re hanging out with them almost every other day. The two of you can talk for hours, or you can be completely silent all day, communicating in gestures and the rare squawk or grunt. It’s so different from the rest of your friends. You deeply appreciate being able to do it with them. Sometimes you really don’t need words.

The two of you are watching one of Alpha timeline Dave’s weird movies. Davepeta is adorable about it, kind of bashful but deeply enamored. _It’s everything I wanted to do and more, but it’s also kinda super fucked up? And it’s cool to see the stuff I don’t like, because it’s like, shit, that’s different - this is getting too weird. No? Okay. Well. Yeah, I mean, it’s like, different him, different me, different people and shit, I’m not just in Dave’s shadow forever. But it’s also the fucking coolest, just, like, look at this shot. Look at it. It’s hideous. I’m in awe. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he fucking did it._

They were hesitant to keep watching them with you, but when you convinced them that you actually really did want to see them (and you did, because they’re really, truly weird, which is fun) they showed you a few more. You’re wrapping up one of the later trilogies tonight, and Davepeta seems to be nudging closer and closer. Then they pop the question.

“So, like, cuddling, on the table or no?” You turn to face them and see them looking away, _super_ not casually.

“I’ve never done that with anyone,” you tell them. It’s embarrassing, but there’s no reason to lie at this point.

Their brows raise for a second before they rein themselves in. “Yeah, of course, when would you have even had a chance. Well, okay, totally no pressure, shit’s kinda weird even if you have done it before, like, some people just aren’t down-“

“Let’s try it.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah! What’s the worst that could happen?” You pat the couch next to you. Right next to you. You’re not positive what this entails, but you’re super willing to try. It sounds fun. You trust them.

“Oh, shit, right now? I just meant like a general thing. Like, is this cool in the future. Shit, okay.”

They scoot next to you so that you’re touching again, like when you watched the sun set together. The two of you hug sometimes, and you brush past each other pretty regularly, but this kind of sustained contact hasn't really been a thing since then. And then they lean into you.

Oh, wow. That’s really nice. They’re soft, and warm, and the contact of your skin feels really good and safe.

“Good?”

“Mm.”

Words would probably come out fine, but you don’t trust your voice not to crack. That’d be embarrassing.

A few more minutes pass before they flop down on the couch. They scoot away a few feet so that their head bumping against the outside of your thigh.

“Still cool?”

You laugh. “Yes. You don’t have to keep asking every time you move.”

“Hey, dude, the head pap is like third base of cuddles. It’s a huge move.”

“Really?”

“No. But kind of, if you think about it.”

“What’s home base?”

“Oh, head rubs. Totally.” Ooh, that sounds cute. You reach up and tentatively touch their head. “Oh, fuck yes.” They start purring deep in their throat and go relaxed and soft against you. “I was… mostly kidding… kinda…” they say slowly. It’s excessively cute.

“You’re cute.”

“You’re gonna make me blush.”

“Well, you are.”

“No dating talk,” they mumble. You start to bristle, you didn’t mean it like _that_! At least, not on purpose. “Joke,” they say, a little clearer. “Kidding. Not a real sentiment.”

“Oh.” You laugh weakly. “Yeah, of course not.”

“You wanna know some really fucked up bonus round?”

“What?” you ask. Thank god they’re giving you an out to this awkward conversation. They’re really good at that.

“Ruffling my feathers. But that’s, like, super friend-kinky.”

“Is it?”

“Oh, yeah, like, XXX platonic bonding.”

“Are we there?” you stage whisper, playing along. “Are you feeling adventurous?”

“I’m so adventurous I had to found this universe’s Adventurer’s Guild. Ask Jake, he’s the president.”

No part of that statement was true. “But this is uncharted territory, isn’t it?” you ask, and start rubbing at their back. Ruffling their feathers, huh. Hmm. Mm. Maybe you could ask them to scratch behind your ears. Who are you kidding, you could totally ask them to do that, and you will, later. But now, you just dig your fingers into their back gently, rubbing at the soft feather-fur mix that coats their skin. Your mind drifts to the gutter for a second before you pull it back up to solid land. No dating talk! Or thoughts!

Their purrs take on a weird, super neat caw element to them as you start to loosen up the tight fur and rub the skin underneath it. Meowcaws. They seem embarrassed by them.

“It sounds cool, Deeps,” you say.

They turn and bury their head in the couch, even more embarrassed. “Again with the mind reading,” they mumble into the couch.

You huff. “I’m not mind reading! You just got all shy and tense and stopped making them!”

They turn their head back over and take a dramatic breath of air. Their wings ruffle out a little bit, gently knocking your hand away. You’re not sure if it was intentional until they sit up and right next to you again. Intentional, then.

“Gotta get used to you being so good at that. Anyways, payback time?” They waggle their eyebrows.

“Oh, okay!” Yes, totally, absolutely. You try not to wag your tail too hard. You see them look at it and smile anyways.

They turn you around so that you’re nestled snugly against their chest. You're entirely enveloped in warm, soft. It's almost suffocating, but it's not. Then they start stroking your ears. It’s _too_  relaxing.

“Shit, these are soft.” They stroke them so gently. And then… start scratching, _yes_. Fuck yes. You hear them laugh above you. “You’re, like, melting.”

“Mm.”

“So that’s good, then?” They scratch a little harder, but not too hard.

“ _Mm._ ”

They eventually slow down, and you pop out of your blissful scratchy dream and remember there’s a movie playing. They keep stroking at your ears and scalp gently and start to talk.

“This seems to have been a success.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Rad.” They seem to not be saying something. You can hear the weight of it in what little they do say.

“What?”

They laugh a little. “I had a feeling you’d smell it.” You wait for them to continue. They keep stroking your ears slowly. “No, it’s just, different, but kind of the same, and it’s kind of sad. I dunno. Shit’s weird.”

You know what they're getting at. There aren’t really words to respond to that, at least none that you can think of. You slowly rouse your jellified muscles to give them a hug.

They hug you back. And they start talking again, shakily. “I mean, it’s kinda fucked up, like. It’s not like this is _first cuddle with Jade, round two._ I’m not him, and you’re not her. You know?” You nod. You try to keep your body language calm, because they sound like they’re going to cry. “But I remember how that time was, and it was different, and it.” They stop.

You rub their back. “What?”

“It feels fucked up, I don’t know.”

And, you’re losing words. You pull away just enough to sign.

[Should we not do this anymore?]

They take a deep breath and then start to shake their head. “No, that’d be fucked up. Shit. I still wanna. God. I swear I’m not gonna flip on you every time we do something vaguely related to what they did. Like, introductions! I didn’t flip for introductions.”

[No, you didn’t.] You think about it for a moment. [Maybe those were a little less … ] you can’t think of the motion. [C-H-A-R-G-E-D]

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, they would be. Okay.” They relax a little. “Good, then this won’t fuck up everything between us.” 

[You’re allowed to be sad about it, though.]

They look like they’re going to cry again.

“Yeah. You’re right. Shit. Yeah, tucking that away is just gonna cause more problems later, won’t it.”

[Probably.]

“Shit, what the hell. Why are you so good at this shit.”

You look away uncomfortably. You’re really not. You have no idea what you’re doing, just kind of winging it based on what your gut tells you. But you’re glad it seems to be helping.

They clear their throat. “That’s enough sad shit for right now, though. I can unpack that baggage on my own time.” You’re not totally thrilled with that, but you’re also not going to push them. It’s up to them what they want to share. And, they're probably right, that would probably be weird to unpack with you. Still, though.

[If you want to talk about it later, though. That’s fine.]

They smile and hug you tightly. “Thanks.”

“Mm.”

“Can we check out that weird salt beach and walk this off?”

You nod. Beaches are fun, checking out cool places with them is fun, and the two of you need a change of scenery to shake off the weird mood.

*

The two of you do cuddle again, and it’s less weird every time. The second time, Davepeta gives you a vigorous scritching of your ears. Other times, the two of you just lean on each other. It feels really good and natural, and you’re really glad you can do it with them.

Sometimes you feel like a sponge for touch, like you could soak up years’ worth of it and it still wouldn’t be enough. Not with anyone, though, just with Davepeta. And, gosh, sometimes when you think that, your mind swan dives into the gutter until you drag it back up, kicking and screaming. You can entertain those thoughts when you’re alone.

The two of you get pretty touchy in general, both in private and with other people. You often forget to rein it in. Rose apparently just assumed you were dating, and she seemed disbelieving when you told her you weren’t. You debate for a minute before spilling your situation to her. She raises her eyebrows and tells you that seems like a wise, complicated choice, and totally one that is in your power to make. Whatever that means. She refuses to elaborate.

Anyways, the cuddling actually makes it way easier to talk about hard stuff. Like, about two months in, when Davepeta starts telling you about how maybe Bro wasn’t the ultimate coolest dude ever? Mid-snuggle. It’s easier when you aren’t making eye contact, and you have a game or movie or some food to fall back on.

You kind of want to reanimate Bro just to kill him again, and you’re pretty sure you don’t even know the half of it. They laugh when you tell them this.

“Have you talked to Dave about this stuff?” you ask. They’ve been hanging out with him more and more. The two of them seem to get along really, really well.

They nuzzle into your arm, burying their face farther. “Yeah,” they mumble. “A little. It’s hard. I mostly just, like, want to let you know because, I dunno. We hang out a lot and you probably want to know. Maybe it’ll come up with stuff.”

“Yeah, I wanna know. It’s freaking you out a lot, it’d suck to not.”

“Thanks. You’re purrfect.”

You scratch the hairfur on their neck, and they start purring. “That’s enough huge downer shit for now,” they mumble. “Unless you got some to get off your chest?”

“No, I’m fine!”

“Cool, let’s, mm. Fall asleep, just like this.”

“Pfft, no.”

“Fine. Fine. Let’s… try to recreate pad see ew.”

“Oooh, that sounds fun.”

“Hell yeah.”

*

They open up at a snail’s pace, and usually change the subject pretty fast. You, meanwhile, open up at a nonexistent pace. What’s there to share that they don’t know already? That you had another nightmare that this was all a dream, and reality was still the ship and the unrelenting silence of space? They don’t need to know that.

You know you’re being a hypocrite. You want to open up eventually, probably. But for all that you want to hear about the stuff that’s weighing on them, you don’t really want to dive into yours when it’s swimming so far below the surface. That was then, and this is now, nightmares be damned.

Jane finally released copies of her first-ever new world cookbook, and you’re dying to try to make most of the recipes with Davepeta. Neither of you has any idea how to cook, and you’re so excited to learn. The ship was then. Cooking cheese puffs with Davepeta and getting flour all over both of your shirts is now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sleepofur

You’re at Davepeta’s place, playing video games. It’s about two weeks until you have to revisit The Question, and you’re pretty desperately trying not to think about it. That’s getting harder, but you’re determined! You’re so close, you can do it.

“So, _appurrently_ , not only are Vriska and Terezi dating, but _apurrently,_ they’ve been dating for _years_ at this point. Did you meow about that?” Davepeta asks you.

“No, what the hell? Vriska?!”

"They were super close when they were growing up."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But, oh my god, did I tell you about Vriska and Nepeta growing up?"

"No, what was it like? Were you friends?"

"Kinda? But, okay, like, Nepeta would try and do a little RP with her. Something cute. And Vriska would start going all, _Arakasei captures the kitten’s young playmate and slowly starts gnawing its head off with her fearsome mandibles._ And Nep would be like, _nooo! don’t do that!_ And Vriska would be like, _what? why not? I’m a spider, that’s what we do!_ ”

“That’s not what spiders do! They make webs!”

Davepeta laughs. “Oh, believe me, I know. Nepeta told her that once, and the next roleplay had her kitty’s friend falling into it. And slowly being dissolved. Vriskey had researched the chemical processes for realism.” You grimace. This sounds horrible. “So, yeah! She’s furrible. But she’s not as totally furrible as before, maybe dating Terezi is making her more chill? Hopefully. Who knows. Anymew, I can’t believe it took me so long to find out! Everyone else has been in the loop!”

“Well, I didn’t know!”

“Yes! Good point!” They look contemplative. “It’s really weird, though, because I’ve been hanging out with them?” You don’t hang out with either of them that often. Terezi, sometimes, because you like her. But Vriska gives you the creeps. So it makes sense that you didn't know. “But I guess Dave and Karkat took forever to start tailing people, too.”

“I don’t get that stuff,” you say. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t just tell everyone when you're dating someone.”

They smirk at you. “Yeah, I thought you wouldn’t.”

You shift a little, uncomfortable. They might just be making an observation, but they have that tone in their voice that they get when they’re talking about her. Over the past few months, you’ve become totally convinced that they’re interacting with you as you, not as a shade of Jade past. But weird stuff still crops up. Stuff like this sometimes catches you off guard. And you weren't prepared for it just now.

They pick up on it. You’re not the only one who’s too good at body language. Dammit.

“What?”

“Did you know that already, from her?”

Their smile fades into something uncomfortable. “…Yeah.”

“I thought so. It’s just… kinda weird sometimes,” you say quietly.

They open their mouth and then close it, flustered. They turn back to the game and seem to be thinking. “It’s weird, yeah. I like it, though.” They don’t seem done talking, so you wait for the rest. “Seeing what’s the same and what’s different is cool. And, you can’t be totally different from her, right? I lov-“ they clear their throat. “I like the parts that are different.” Your heart starts thudding in your chest as you realize what they almost said. Focus! “And the parts that are the same. I dunno.” They trail off. “It’s weird, though, yeah. Is it too weird?”

“No,” you say, and mean it, “that makes sense.” You nuzzle into their shoulder and go back to playing games. They relax, too. You ask them what they do when they hang out with Vriska or Terezi, and they light up and start telling you.

Hal comes back eventually from whatever he was doing. He doesn’t tell you guys when or where he’s leaving most of the time. Today, but he brings back bags of hamburgers “for the lesser-evolved meat creatures who might desire them.” You guys invite him for games and he says maybe later, after you’re done consuming your rations of flesh and baked fermented plant remains.

Hours bleed away. You play more games and talk and wander around the planet. Eventually, as you’re setting up the third board game in a row to play with Davepeta, you realize how late it’s getting.

“I don’t want to go back,” you say, groaning.

Davepeta waggles their eyebrows.

“What?”

“You can sleep ofur.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “That could be fun."

“We’ll keep it PG, of course.”

You get a little flustered and give a self-conscious smirk. “No shit.”

“Is that a yes to the sleepofur? Like, okay, the ship didn’t count, but Dave never had one, and he always thought it was kinda _gay_ ,” they put airquotes around the word, “but he also kinda really wanted to. With you.” They waggle their eyebrows again. “And John and Rose. All at the same time. Can you imagine?”

“Oh my god, that would be overwhelming.”

“Yeah, but this won’t!”

You’re on board. You also never had a sleepover. You've only seen it in movies, and you’re curious! “Where will I sleep?”

“Well, you can sleep on my bed, or the floor, or the couch, or we can meowterialize a blow-up mattress for you.”

“That last one,” you say. Sleeping in their bed is alluring for all the wrong reasons, and you don’t want to push at the fragile remaining threads of your willpower. On the other hand, the couch totally defeats the purpose of sleeping over in the first place.

They give you fingerguns and wink. You follow them to their alchemiter and watch them type in some codes. It’s a little different from yours, and they set up the input system to respond to cat puns (of course). There’s a zap and a loud noise, and then the bed falls out. It's unfortunately flat. You have to alchemize a pump, too. You bring them both into Davepeta's room and start filling it up.

Their room is smaller than the living room, but there’s plenty of space for the air mattress, along with their bed, some beanbag chairs, a desk, and a video game setup. There aren’t as many game systems as there are in the living room, but there’s plenty enough for you. They’re pretty determined to make up for the time they lost on the ship/being dead and play every possible video game. You’re in the same boat. There was one system on the ship, and just a handful of games and movies and books. You don’t like thinking about how many times you 100% completed God of War II. You didn’t even like God of War II.

Davepeta flops on their bed happily and pats you over. “We catta do sleepofur shit, right?”

“Like what?”

The look around their room thoughtfully. Then they slowly grab their pillow. “Pillow fights?”

“Deeps, no, that’s for kids-”

Too late, a pillow splats into your face. You catch it as it falls and stare at them in shock.

“Oh, no,” they say with an exaggerated gasp. “I handed you a loaded gun. What will you _do_?”

“You’re doomed.” You charge for them and blap them over the head with it (not hard, barely dropping it on their head). They beg for mercy and you allow them to pry it from your hands. A mistake. They shoot it at your head like it’s a fucking basketball and your face is the hoop.

“Deeps!”

“What are you gonna do about it?” they ask, waggling their eyebrows. They’re so fucking _cute,_ and being such a little shit. You punt it at their head. It misses, falls off the bed, and you both scramble for it. You grab fit, _victory_ , and you’re about to thwap them with it when they grab it out of your hands again. The two of you dissolve into wrestling for it, getting maybe a little rougher and more animal than you would with your totally-human friends, but it’s really fun. You finally get the upper hand and look down at them, grinning. Their cheeks are flushed green and they’re smiling and panting and...

And you realize that you’re staring at your lips, sprawled on top of them, on their bed. They seem to realize it at the same moment you do, and they swallow. Silence hangs in the air. They don't make any moves to push you off. You know they’re thinking the same thing you are. You could lean over and kiss them. Right now. You’re pretty sure you know what the answer to the question will be in two weeks. You both know. And the way they’re looking at you… you both know. And you both want this. Probably. Maybe.

You open your mouth to ask, to make sure, but your words leave you.

You could sign it. They’ve picked up most of what you know by now. But you’re too embarrassed. The confidence you had a moment ago is gone. You dislodge yourself from their soft, warm body and clear your throat.

[Other than pillow fights, what do you do at sleepovers?] you ask. You don’t make eye contact.

“Well.” Their voice cracks and they clear their throat, like that’s going to make the weirdness go away. “Well,” they say again, clearer, “we can watch shit. Or play shit. And make popcorn and talk about boys.” 

“Boys?” You desperately grab the topic change. You do vaguely remember this from some movies. You’re aware that they're fucking around with this option, which is why you choose it.

“Yeah, like, wow, isn’t Karkat cute?” they say, high-pitched and doe-eyed.

“Oh my god, yeah,” you respond, only half-joking. Because wowza, Karkat tho.

“Wait, really?” they ask. They seem genuinely surprised.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, okay,” they say. They seem baffled by this. That’s… random. “Didn’t know that about you.”

A beat of silence falls over the room. You fight the urge to tell them they’re cuter, but it’s too strong.

“You’re cuter.”

Their grin purractically splits their face. Like a cat yawning, kind of. It’s really cute.

“Aw, shucks.”

You have to look away. This is too cute and flirty and you’re pushing it. But it was important that they know! They had to know!

“I don’t think we’re doing this right,” you say.

They sound giddy when they respond. “Yeah, no, me neither! Talking about boys is off-limits!”

“Okay!” you agree quickly. “What else should we do? Hang out on the beach and teleport back here later?”

"We can pawtally do that!" 

"Nice!"

“And, uhhhh, I don’t know what else? My knowledge clocks out after that. Trolls would sometimes do near-death spurrs, but let’s not.”

“No, let’s not.”

You eventually decide on video games. You can do the other stuff later. You play and gossip about who’s dating who. Davepeta completely lights up talking about it, which is adorable. You’re pretty sure that’s the Nepeta part of them. Your proximity to Davepeta keeps you at least 400 times as informed about who’s in what quadrant with who, and who’s flirting, and who’s breaking up, than you would otherwise be.

Eventually, you’re too tired to keep talking. They notice you nodding off and save the game.

“You ready to go to sleep? To commence the sleepofur in full?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Sick.”

They pull out some sheets and pillows for your blow-up bed and turn out the light.

“Night, dude.”

“Night.”

It takes you longer than usual to fall asleep, but you do, giddy and warm and happy.

*

You’re back on the ship. You’re stuck there and all you can do is wait. You can wander around the same six rooms over and over and over, and nothing will change the fact that all you can do is wait. You have almost 500 days left of this. 11,387 hours. You look at your countdown with horror. 13 hours until you can flip another single page of it.

You thought it was better now. You thought it was over. You thought you were making friends and falling in love. You thought it was over.

“Jade? Jade, wake up.”

“Hmm.”

“Are you okay?”

“Hnn?”

You look up, and you’re not on the ship anymore. You’re not crushed with hopelessness that your life is a lie and you’ll never escape the agonizing monotony. Davepeta is here, sitting over the blowup bed they made for you, gently rubbing at your shoulder. They’re not just an imaginary friend you created to make the days pass quicker. Your throat feels tight and your eyes sting with tears.

“Hey, you okay?”

You nod.

“Were you having a nightmare?”

“Yeah,” you whisper.

“Shit, sorry, dude.”

You lean forward and hug them. The hopelessness from the dream lingers in the back of your mind. You’re so glad they’re here and you’re not there. You try not to cry too obnoxiously, but you can’t totally staunch the flow. They rub your back and hug you.

“That bad, huh?” they say gently.

You nod against their shoulder.

“You want to talk about it?”

You swallow. You do. You feel like if you put words on it, that’ll help shake it off. “That I was back there, you know?” you say thickly. “And you weren’t real.”

They hug you tighter.

“Your subconscious is being a real dickhead, isn’t it.”

You laugh. “Yeah. It’s fucked up.”

“…Do you get those dreams a lot?”

“Yeah,” you admit.

They squeeze you. “That sucks. That’s the fucking worst.”

“Do you get, nightmares like that?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” they mumble.

“Do you wanna talk about them?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

They hug you tighter. “Gonna punch yours in the dick.”

You snort. “Please do.”

“You got it.”

The more you talk to them, the more the dream shakes off and reality sets in. The more you feel safe and secure where you are.

“I’m so glad you’re real,” you word vomit. “That was the worst part, thinking you weren’t real.”

“I’m the fucking realest, though. No one has shit on my realness.”

You laugh and pull away. You realize you somehow communicated all of that without signing, and wonder how the hell your brain let you get away with that. As you pull away, their hand drifts down until it’s holding yours affirmingly. You let your fingers wind together.

You can see their face through the moonlight and the mild glow they always emit. They turn it down at night, but they haven’t figured out how to shut it off completely. It puts a damper on nighttime hunting, but right here and now, you’re glad for it. You can see their face perfectly, from their soft, sleep-mussed hair to their lips and-

And you shouldn’t be looking there, but they’re biting their lips. And you both know where this is going-

You lean forward a little bit and wait for them to respond. You look away because you’re nervous, and this is weird for you to want right now. But they’re here, and you do want it. Now. You want to hug them and kiss them and feel how real this all is. And you're tired of waiting for two weeks for no reason.

They lean forward until your foreheads touch. You look back up at them and see them looking away.

“About that two weeks thing,” they say quietly.

Your breath quickens. “Yeah?”

“Thoughts on, uh, shortcutting that?”

You feel a lump in your throat and you swallow it down. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? It's weird timing, but I really want to kiss you, and you seem like you-”

“Yeah. Yes. Davepeta, yes.”

They look at you and smile, and then they're kissing you. You gasp and press your lips back to theirs. You’ve never done this before. Your heart is racing and your mind goes blank. You squeeze their hand, and they squeeze bac. You feel like you’re going to explode. They pull away and then kiss you again, and the change in pressure and angle of their mouth on yours makes you shiver. It’s such a simple movement, but it feels like so much. They do it again, and you make a little noise in your throat. They pull back a little to look at you, eyes wide and with a goofy smile on their face.

“Heh, sorry,” you say, embarrassed.

“Was that a good sound?”

“Yeah.”

Their smile widens. “Woah.”

You swallow. You want to ask why they’re so surprised by that, but you’re too giddy. You’re too giddy to talk at all, it turns out.

[We should talk about stuff.]

“Yeah.”

...And presented with the option of doing that now, you'd rather not. Yet.

[Can we kiss again first?]

They kiss you again first. Fuck yes.

They add a little tongue eventually, dragging it over your bottom lip, and you moan - you have to admit that’s what you’re doing now, because it’s full and loud and genuine. They're barely doing anything to you, but it’s so intense and you feel it everywhere. One place most of all. Heh.

“Holy shit,” they say.

“What?”

“You’re so into it.”

You have no idea what to say to that. It's really embarrassing. You kiss them again instead of responding. You kiss them and you use a little bit of tongue, even though you have no idea what you’re doing. You copy their movements and get lost in the touch and taste and smell of their skin, lips, tongue. You feel like you’re burning and you want their hands all over you, but it’s too soon for that. It’s too soon to touch them all over and make them gasp. It scares you just as much as you want it all. You force yourself to pull back before you put their hand between your legs or something stupid like that, because you _really_ need to talk about that kind of thing first.

“That was fun,” they say, smiling lazily. Your heart hammers in your chest and you’re aware of the slickness between your legs. Down, girl!

“We should talk about stuff before we do that again.”

“Yeah, definitely,” they say. Then they tense up. “Did you have fun? I mean, I thought you did, but-“

“Yes. Yeah. So much fun.” They relax. “But, uh, the talk. About stuff being weird.” Like how they probably learned to kiss like that from practicing with _her_. That tugs at your gut painfully. “But, uh.” No, no speaking for this.

[How do you feel about me versus her?]

“Oh, uh." They run their finger through their hair and shake like a dog getting water off its coat. "Gimme a second, I’m still in makeout mode.”

[Sorry for the mood whiplash!]

“Pff, you’re fine.” They think for a second. “I mean, I’m confident I’m not just copy+pasting that relationship onto this one. You’re super different from her, and I’m really different from him, and we do way different shi. I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna be a problem." You force yourself to focus against the giddiness in your brain. You were pretty sure that was the case, but you needed to hear it from them. And now you're hearing it, and it's perfect. "As long as you’re okay with it? Because it’s still kind of weird. But you seem kind of okay with it-“

You have to wave your hand in front of their face to get their attention, because it’s just a little sign and they’re looking at the wall nervously (which is bad manners, but you can forgive them this time. You understand).

[Yes.]

They smile. “Cool.”

You squeeze their hand and kiss them again. You pull away before it heats up.

[Can we take sex stuff really slow?]

They bite their lip and laugh, embarrassed. “Yeah, definitely. I was gonna ask you that, actually. Glad we’re in agreement.”

[Good! I don’t wanna rush it. Even though I kind of do.]

They raise their eyebrows and laugh. “Damn, dude.” 

[But I don’t actually want to!] you rush out. You're flushing. God, why are you embarrassing yourself, calm down!

They smirk. “No, I get it. You find my feline nature completely irresistible.”

“Pfft.” [Yeah, totally.]

“I know, dude. I can tell. I’ve seen how you look at my tail.”

They don’t have a fucking tail. They’re such a nerd. You laugh.

You take a deep breath. You’re pretty sure your voice has returned to you, now that the anxiety-inducing stuff is taken care of.

“Maybe I could sleep in your bed now? If that’s cool? And keep it PG and everything.”

“Oh, fuck yes, cat up here.” They gently float you up to your bed and pull you under the covers with them.

“Nice. Hehe.” You can’t believe all of this happened. You can’t believe that you’re dating Davepeta. You weren’t supposed to think about this for weeks. You’re so glad you did, though. You're  _dating_ them. They're dating you. Hehe.

You can’t imagine you’re going to be able to fall back asleep after that, but then they start petting your head and behind your ears. Your body reminds you that it’s the middle of the night, and you've only slept a few hours.

“Fuck yes, this is the shit,” Davepeta says.

You agree wholeheartedly. "Mm-hmm," you manage. They're too good with their hands. (down, girl)

You fall asleep next to them, with the warmth of their body heating you up, and something warm and intangible blooming in your chest.

*

It turns out that dating them isn’t all that different from not-dating. There are a few little differences. There’s no more weird tension when you want to kiss them. You don’t worry about the fact that you’re super hot for them. You’re not making it weird when you let them know about it. You’re making it awesome. They’re really fucking cute when they’re flustered, and they ought to be reminded of how cute they are at every opportunity.

But besides that and the other, heh, stuff, it’s really similar to before. You hang out a lot, except sometimes now they sleep over. You still go hunting and hang out with other people, but now you hold hands sometimes. You still open up about deep stuff, but now sometimes you open up about your feelings about relationships. 

You know this is probably opening you up for fights and pain down the line. Every one of your friends who’s dated someone has confessed to you that relationships are really hard. You’re kind of nervous to see what form that takes with the two of you. It’s impossible to imagine. You get along _so_ well. You might even be an exception to the rule, you’re just _that_ much on the same wavelength.

But, even if you’re not? It’s fine. You’ll deal with that if and when it comes up. You’re hanging out with them again today, along with some of your other friends, and you’re really looking forward to it. You’re really looking forward to just about everything lately. Life is good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end! thank you to everyone who read and/commented! hope you enjoyed it!  
> there will probably be a porn sequel because i am a goblin. it's about halfway done rn. subscribe to the series if you want a notification when that gets published
> 
> i also have other plans for the series  
> honestly i was primarily writing a dave&davepeta story and i wrote this because i couldnt stand to have throwaway background javepeta without exploring how they got together  
> so the dave&davepeta story is also coming later  
> and the john bridges will mend because dave will (verbally) smack some sense into him


End file.
